Very
brief reflections on low spirits and self-perception
This
piece is one of an occasional series of articles produced
under
the banner of “self-healing”
When we retire or
withdraw (for whatever reason) from an active, focused, professional life, it
is easy to become introspective, lose sight of a sense of purpose and edge
toward a feeling of pointlessness or worthlessness. Of course, this sense of
torpor need not be restricted to those who are ageing or who have retired.
Feelings of lack of worth or failure to contribute meaningfully can strike at
any age, at any one of us and with no respect for “success” or otherwise, but I
would point out one thing – all these negative feelings are the result of and
are dependent on your perception of yourself and your circumstances. Others may
point out positive aspects of your life, your character and your circumstances
but their efforts will be to no avail if you cannot adjust your perception of
yourself and your situation.
So, I suggest that a
first step in resolving torpor, a feeling of pointlessness or low spirits, is
to make an effort to cease introspective reflection and a focus on your
perceptions of failure, weakness or even guilt, which will almost undoubtedly
be out of all proportion with reality, and consider others, your influence on
them and their perceptions of you.
Be fair to yourself as
you would be fair to and understanding of others. Recognise you may have become
self-absorbed and perhaps excessively self-critical. Recognise your weaknesses
but also your positive input and influence in the lives of others.
This positive influence
or input may take many forms, even that of mundane interaction. If you were
pleasant to a sales assistant or had a friendly word with an elderly person in
the passing, you may have made that person feel valued or appreciated. At work,
you may contribute positively in interactions with co-workers, clients,
customers, patients, pupils or anyone in need of a helping hand. Your attention
or kindness, while rather taken for granted by you, may give a boost to others.
Do not deny your positive
influence. The offer of a helping hand, advice, sharing laughter, knowledge or
wisdom – fleeting moments that may mean relatively little to you – may impact
the lives of others and make their lives more interesting, bearable, pleasant
or even more worthwhile.
Your influence or impact
may seem unobtrusive but take heart from the fact that, perhaps by virtue of
your very existence and by being yourself, you exercise or have exercised a
positive influence on those around you and you need to be open to recognising
your own input, value and worth just as you would recognise these elements in
others.
Stuart Fernie (stuartfernie@yahoo.co.uk)
No comments:
Post a Comment