Very
brief reflections regarding therapy and self-healing
This
piece is one of an occasional series of articles produced
under
the banner of “self-healing”
Although discussion of
personal issues is often regarded as therapeutic in that analysis may allow a
person to view issues differently, it seems to me that these “cathartic”
reflections may also have the effect of reinforcing the existence of issues and
augment reaction to them. Recognition need not lead to resolution. It may be
advisable to avoid wallowing in feelings raised in discussion as this may
perpetuate and exacerbate existing problems.
It may be advisable to try
to consign issues to the past, focus on present circumstances and apply your
own learned world view.
There is no need for
validation, affirmation or justification as a result of past experience and
what may be considered “errors” of judgement. The fact you are reflecting on
the past and consider some acts or decisions as errors suggests you have
regrets and have learned from the past. Reliving past errors may only reinforce
the issues caused by these errors. Be the person you have learned to be, not
who you were during your evolution. Recognise your achievements and skills
without diminishing them or undermining them through fear and doubt which are
of your own creation, or regret for actions of the past. Fear and doubt that
you experienced in the past need not apply to the present or future. You have undoubtedly
proved yourself (to yourself and others) many times – acknowledge that and
don’t torture yourself with artificial and unwarranted doubts and fears.
Pleasing or accommodating
people need not apply – any feelings of inadequacy (based on self-doubt) will have
been invalidated many times. You may assert yourself and simply be yourself as your
views are as valid as others’ views, perhaps even more so due to reason and
insight.
Practise being calm and
clear-minded. It is often thought control of emotion and the mind will lead to
calm, but control of physical response to stimuli can also be immensely helpful
and will allow clarity and reason to gain the upper hand in testing
circumstances. Deep, regular breathing is helpful, as well as control of
emotions.
Perspective and
proportion are essential. Bear in mind that ultimately everyone is equally
insignificant and nothing matters.
Stuart Fernie (stuartfernie@yahoo.co.uk)
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