Very
brief reflections on respect and self-esteem
This
piece is one of an occasional series of articles produced
under
the banner of “self-healing”
If you regularly seek
validation through the eyes and views of others, you may lack self-confidence.
Bear in mind this desire
for validation suggests a lack of perceived respect, and may be symptomatic of
poor self-esteem. However, your perception of yourself (and others) may be
skewed, flawed or inadequate and you may be creating issues that need not, in
fact, exist.
You do not need to seek
the validation of others. It is a pleasant bonus but it is not a necessity.
Learn to see the value of
your own thoughts, actions and words. Let others draw their own conclusions but
care less about their opinions. Be willing to see and recognise your own value,
especially as you will have carefully considered your choices of thought,
action and words. This is not arrogance, it is realism. You are willing to
acknowledge qualities in others – apply the same criteria to yourself.
The attitude of others often
reveals something about them and their outlooks. You will not appeal to
everyone and it is their right to reject you or disagree with you, but that
does not detract from the worth of your considered contributions (as perceived
by yourself and those open to your views and mindset).
Do not assume lack of
interest, rejection and even disrespect are the norm and represent a set
standard. People merely reveal their own standards. Be willing to recognise shortcomings in
others whose perceptions and self-image may also be skewed or flawed.
Stuart Fernie (stuartfernie@yahoo.co.uk)
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